And this is why chocolate cake isn’t a good idea before bed

4:18 am.

I am supposed to be in bed.  I tried to go to bed an hour ago.  I tried to go to bed an hour before that.  In fact, I have made three unsuccessful attempts at bedtime within the last four hours.  I’m not actually sure that the cake is responsible–I think it was rather the combination of cake, pictures of baby animals from zoos around the world, and French.  A heady mix at any time of the day.  You see, I finally got around to doing that French House application that I’ve been putting off all break.  Mainly because I felt silly doing it, since I basically live there anyway and they’ve known that I was moving in next year since about November.  Also, since I lived there my freshman year, this is the second time that I’ve filled out that application.  But since it’s a necessary bureaucratic step for me, and a necessary bureaucratic step for them, I decided to make lemonade and in other ways have fun with it.

There are two essay questions.  One is the predictable “Why do you want to live in the French house?  Why do we want you to live in the French house?”  I answered that question with the gravitas that I felt it deserved: shared love of French language, I practically live here anyway,  leadership roles, extensive knowledge of AYA program, blah, blah, blah.  The other question is a much more open-ended “Who are you?”  that is intended to suss out your interests and activities.  Like I’ve said, for the upperclass(wo)men that go to French house activities, it’s a bit of a formality.  Basically they are trying to make sure we’re not Hannibal Lector.  After all, it’s a girls-only house.

Now, that has the potential to be very boring.  I decided to make it less boring.  I pity the person(s) who will have to read all those bland answers to bland questions.  And when asked about your role in the living-learning community and your contribution to the atmosphere of the house, it’s always better to show than to tell.  What follows is an English translation of the second question, “Qui etes-vous?”  Who are you? Please bear in mind that this is a translation.  I have to say, although I may be biased, that the French version is funnier.  I managed to work in a rhyming pun on a French proverb that just won’t work in English.  Also, idioms don’t translate well.  In some cases, I was able to replace them with English idioms of roughly equivalent meaning.  In other cases…it’s four in the morning, cut me some slack.  Still, I like to think that I captured the humor, the spirited, gripping narrative, the POETRY of the original, as is the task of any dedicated translator.

“Who are you?  Tell us about yourself, your activities, and your interests, to help us get to know you better.”

“I spent my first seventeen years on the family orchard, where I developed certain necessary skills for adult life: apple-picking, forest navigation, ram-boxing.  I come from the glorious state of Wisconsin, where cheese is served alongside more cheese, and, at sporting events, is considered rather fetching headgear.  I am slightly mortified to admit that at a tender age, I wore such a hat.  So I suppose it isn’t surprising that in later years I took such an interest in France, the land of a thousand cheeses, where fashion has a slightly longer shelf life.

Beyond the realm of dairy products, my interests are diverse: French, sociology, traveling, languages, culinary adventures, photography, music, chocolate, literature.  I consider myself a well-rounded person with broad interests; to name just one example, I would particularly enjoy photographing chocolate desserts that I had made somewhere in the Alps while listening to French music.  It’s an ambitious dream, one that I have yet to fulfill, but I aim for the stars.

I have a marked tendancy to juggle any loose piece of fruit; keep a watchful eye on your oranges in my presence!  And yet I am an honest thief–I always return pilfered food. [in the original french, there was a wordplay here involving a french proverb that, loosely translated, is something like “cheaters never prosper”]  In fact, since juggling and honest theivery are not particularly lucrative, I intend to join the Peace Corps after graduation, and then study for my doctorate in sociology.  My goal is to eventually become a college professor, researching the most successful strategies for fighting poverty, protecting human rights, and resolving ethnic conflict, in the US and abroad.”